i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hippo gnu deer
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You dont lie about slip and slides
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
