he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
