come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize