I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
