I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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