I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
