I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
