beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
