When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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