I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
