you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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