How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize