one might say we're banned from that church
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize