office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
