Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
