Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
