she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
