then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize