I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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