Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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