yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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