hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
