also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
