um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
