me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
