So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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