i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize