i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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