Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize