It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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