I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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