Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
