The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
