What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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