At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
