So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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