So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize