I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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