I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
