Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
