just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
