So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize