So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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