Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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