I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
