you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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