I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
