Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
