I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
