just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
