So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
