Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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