I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
